


contigo aquí (como un perro fiel)

by majorstallmadge



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Jealous TK, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, clueless Carlos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:20:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23054620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majorstallmadge/pseuds/majorstallmadge
Summary: “Are you jealous?” Carlos asks dumbfounded, because he needs to hear it from TK’s lips to believe it, even if all the clues lead to only one possible answer.The guilty look on TK’s face and how his shoulders hunch tell Carlos that he is indeed right and Carlos hearts leaps with hope, set aflame by the possibility that TK might have feelings for him, like he always dreamed.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes (9-1-1 Lone Star)/TK Strand, Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 35
Kudos: 514





	contigo aquí (como un perro fiel)

**Author's Note:**

> for my junkyard family that dragged me into this hell whole of emotions that is tarlos. special thanks to inigo for being my beta!
> 
> title taken from perro fiel by shakira.

Carlos couldn’t blame anyone but himself for his current predicament. TK was beyond clear when they met — and on later dates — that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. He was looking for something casual: an outlet of all his anxiety, a distraction from the chaos inside his mind and heart. It hurt Carlos to be just a warm body, another notch on his bedpost and to know that what they share is just one of the many things TK does to feel something other than _numb_.

He thinks about the night he processed TK down at the station and his stomach churns at the thought that the fight might have got the other man closer to his goal than any moment they ever shared together.

TK’s a hurricane and Carlos never stood a chance. No matter how many times people warned him, _hell_ , he even tried to stay away outside work calls, but TK's pull is stronger than any man he’s ever met. 

Carlos stupid heart couldn’t help but fall for those puppy green eyes and boyish charm. He was truly a goner the moment he first saw TK on that fateful call. TK’s eyes had sparkled under the moonlight like glistening emeralds and his self satisfied grin was blinding, capable of lighting up the darkness. He was the most beautiful, wild thing Carlos has ever seen.

That night Carlos wished nothing more than to have that man look at him like that someday, but as things stood, the world had other plans for Carlos Reyes and TK Strand so he told himself he could bury his feelings and keep their friends with benefits arrangement going, because half TK was better than no TK at all and Carlos can't’ help but hold onto the hope that _maybe_ the handsome firefighter would change his mind at some point and would see how perfect they are for each other and take on Carlos’ earlier date invitations.

Carlos of course knew better than to scare TK or make him feel pressured. Carlos isn’t like that, but with TK’s bad breakup, substance abuse history and his father’s cancer he knows he needs to be extra careful. Luckily to him, patience is one of his virtues and TK is worthy of all gentle care on this earth and Carlos is more than happy to become the firefighter's safe haven.

They’ve come a long way into their a _rrangement_ , but they are still nowhere near where Carlos wants them to truly be. 

He sometimes allows his mind to trick itself into believing they are together, that all the times they meet up to go clubbing or to eat are dates between boyfriends, and not TK’s carefree way to be now that his life seemed to be stable enough. He even likes to think he helped TK reach that level of balance, but he knows he is kept at arm's length no matter how much he longs for the intimacy of a relationship and to be able to kiss his green eyed lover senseless whenever he feels like it.

But Carlos lives for those tiny moments where he can let go and be the lovesick fool he turned himself into. When TK smiles brightly at him before bumping their noses together, when they tease each other in and outside the bedroom, when they spend hours talking just about anything and nothing. In these moments everything else ceases to exist and TK is his whole world.

He knows how self destructive this is and he hates that he’s allowing himself to become this way, to get himself stuck into a relationship that is going nowhere but he really cannot put into words how easy it was to fall in love for TK. The other man had no idea the effect he could have on people, the effect he had on _him_. If this is what drug addicts felt, Carlos had a new level of empathy because he couldn’t help but come back for more.

He’s in _deep_ , so deep Michelle started worrying he might be drowning. And the thing is, after a year, Carlos has to admit that he is. He is drowning in this mess and he can’t help but feel utterly _defeated._ He knows he isn’t perfect and can make a list of his flaws, but he knows he is a good looking guy, has a controversial but very community centered job that pays his bills and allows him to have a nice place and car and he is also pretty charming, if he can say so. 

He’s been told many times he is made of boyfriend material, and while he never allowed that to get to his head... it seems that he either wasn’t the kind of boyfriend material TK was looking for or TK wasn’t really looking for one at all, and Carlos had to face the facts that he is either going to keep drowning until he spins out of control or he call it quits and focus on healing his heart.

The idea of ending them is like a gut punch for so many reasons, because it would mean to admit that TK has always been so close, but always so far out of his reach and nothing he did ever really changed that. He just sent himself deeper and deeper into heart break.

It’s a tough call, but one he has to make. Carlos takes a deep, sobering breath and sends TK a quick message asking if he is doing anything after his shift today. He presses send before he can chicken out and sets it on his table, trying to contain the anxiety that comes with waiting for an answer.

Sometimes he gets quick replies, sometimes it takes hours. Carlos at least knows it’s not because TK is ignoring him but because he might be on a call and too busy to check his messages. His phone vibrates with an incoming text message and it’s TK answering him back.

_I’m free, wanna meet up?_

_Yes_. Carlos texts back. _Can we meet at the coffee shop by the fire station?_

He thinks it's better to choose a public space, somewhere where they could talk somewhat privately, but where TK wouldn’t feel trapped.

_Sure, see you there._

Now, all Carlos has to do is survive the excruciating hours until the end of both of their shifts and get this over with. He knew he was doing the right thing, even if his heart would break into a million pieces while doing it.

\-----------

Carlos has to be honest, he had no idea what TK’s reaction would be, but he really wasn’t expecting TK to freeze across from him when he finally finishes his speech, one that he spent the rest of his shift carefully crafting and rendered him absolutely useless for any work.

Uneasiness fills the pit of his stomach and he can hear the hammering of his beating heart, like it wants to break free from it’s cage, but Carlos waits for TK to speak up first. The silence that fills their table isn’t an awkward one because Carlos _knows_ TK and he knows the other man sometimes just needs a few minutes to process things and react. He is aware that this is something T.K worked hard on with his therapist, a method to keep himself from relapsing and Carlos not only respects that, but is supportive of TK’s efforts and needs.

“Is it something I did?” TK asks, his brows furrowing like he was presented with a really hard puzzle.

Carlos is caught off guard with the question. “TK,” he exhales, struggling to get the right words out. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” it was more of what T.K did not do or is unwilling to do. Still, he leans in the table, his fingers gripping his coffee cup for dear life.

TK’s green eyes were focused on him and Carlos has to fight the shiver that wants to run up his spine.

“I just…” _am helplessly in love with you and I can’t bear it any longer that you don’t want me back_ his traitorous mind complets, but Carlos knows he just can’t impose his unrequited feelings on TK anymore but he really couldn’t find a legitimate reason for it. “Don’t want to do this anymore. I’m sorry,” Carlos swallows the lump on his throat. He breaks his gaze from TK’s for a sobering breath. His chest feels tight and he can feel blood rushing through his veins. “I just wanted to tell you in person and make sure we are good,” Carlos gathers the courage to look at TK and commit his angelic face to memory.

There is slight crease on TK’s brows, but he remains quiet, as if waiting for Carlos to go on.

He wet his lips. “We will still see each other on a regular basis because of work and I didn’t want things to be weird. We have a lot of people counting on us.”

“ _Oh_ …” He hears TK’s gasp. “If that’s what you want, I guess all I have to say is…. Thank you?” Carlos has no idea what to say to that, he is even more confused on why TK’s eyes look a little hurt and bewildered, but his face and voice don’t betray much.

“So, we’re good?” He asks, clearing his voice.

“Yeah,” TK’s answers back after a few moments of silence. “We’re good”. Looking at the man across from him, Carlos catches a glimpse of a smile on TK’s pink lips as he speaks. It feels like a twisting knife to his heart.

“Good,” Carlos is fighting the tears that are threatening to spill, getting up from his seat. “I have to go, I promised Michelle I would help her go through some stuff on her sister’s case.” He gives TK what he hopes is a smile, but he is sure it’s closer to a grimace. Honestly, he couldn’t care less, he just needs to _leave_. “See you around?” He asks over his shoulder, in a last attempt at looking composed. 

“Of course, _Officer_ ,” TK answers, throwing him one of his boyish, signature winks.

Carlos sobs all the way home.

\-----------

He avoids any contact with the 126 for at least a week, which is nothing short of a miracle considering how much their paths cross during calls, but _somehow_ Carlos manages to go an entire week without crossing paths with a single member of the AFD, without it looking like it was intentional.

While a week is not long enough to lick his wounds and start picking up the pieces of his heart, it's a _start_. It's more than he could possibly have managed on his own and there was no way he was going to jeopardize his job just because of a _boy_ , even if said boy is probably the love of his life.

Michelle had been acting as his emotional crutch and Carlos couldn’t be more thankful for her friendship, but the void TK left in his life was not one that was going to be easily filled or forgotten. But it was nice to have someone taking care of him like that.

It’s not like Carlos isn’t expecting for them to meet on a call, he _is_ , but he isn’t as ready as he believed himself to be. Watching TK in all his fireman glory, removing his helmet as his hair is blown by the wind and his eyes glint with excitement is harder than he ever anticipated. His heart tugs, his feelings for TK unchanged since their last meeting.

When their eyes meet, Carlos is ready for the awkwardness that follows, but it never comes. TK acts like his normal self and while it hurts, it’s clear that Carlos is the only one with his heart on the line. He is at least comforted by the fact that he made the right decision and should focus on forgetting TK Strand forever.

\-----------

Carlos has no idea how he got dragged in this group date thing in this day and age, but there he was, at their regular bar, surrounded by coworkers and Sarah’s brother in law Michael. Sarah has tried setting them up before, but Carlos has always brushed off because of TK, but finally gave in.

Michael turns out to be pretty dreamy. He is good looking, has a nice 9 to 5, non-life threatening job and is very fun to be around. Carlos finds himself bent over in laughter several times during the night and is enjoying himself. He even allows his mind to wonder if this could be the guy that would finally take his heart and soul away from TK.

The sound of raucous laughter attracts Carlos gaze and he freezes as if a bucket of ice had been thrown over his head, because he caught sight of Mateo and Marjan and knows it is a matter of seconds before TK follows suit.

It's been four months, but seeing TK is never easy for him. Especially today, when he is — for the first time in months — on a date with a man he is currently hoping that might be just the cure he needs for TK Strand.

“Is everything okay?” Michael asks worried.

“Yes,” Carlos answers back, turning his gaze back to the man in front of him. “I just kind of lost myself with the noise.” He jokes, hoping to brush it off as distraction. The smile Michael gives him back shows him he was successful.

\-----------

Carlos has no idea how the fight started. One minute he was line dancing with Michael, rolling with laughter. The next there’s people screaming, Michael on the ground and TK looking pretty angry with bruised fingers.

A crowd filled with angry voices closes them in and Carlos starts to worry that an even bigger fight between first responders might break out if this situation isn’t controlled. He makes his way to Michael,helping him up as the blond man holds onto his bleeding nose in a lousy attempt to stem it, thankfully Michelle is right behind him, ready to take charge of the situation.

He helps Michael sit on a chair and allows Michelle to do her thing. Asking the other man if he is alright is pointless, after all he just got punched on the nose, but he squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. 

“I will check out if everyone is okay,” He absolutely lies to Michelle and his date, which is something he hates but he really needs to see if TK’s is alright and he isn’t about to tell them that. “I will be right back.” He releases the man's shoulders and receives a quick nod from Michael, and Michelle is too busy looking his date over to catch him on his lie.

He scans the sea of people inside the bar and TK is nowhere to be found. He sees some members of the 126, but decides against asking them where or even _what_ happened. At least not yet. He doesn’t think he can process that at the moment. He chooses to make it through the crowd and towards the door, hoping TK might have run outside.

The cold night air hits Carlos in the face but all he can think about is finding where TK is. He scans the parking lot and his eyes zero on TK’s silhouette huching against Captain Strand’s car, grumbling what Carlos thinks is a string of curses. He almost smiles at the sight.

He makes his way to the other man, shoving his hands in the pocket of his jeans. 

“Hey,” He calls out as he gets closer, alerting TK of his arrival and before he can get closer, TK starts to walk away. Carlos furrows his brow and lets out a sigh. _So this is how’s going to be, huh?_ “TK,” He calls again, this time walking faster to catch up to him. “TK, wait up!” Really? They were going to play this game? Because Carlos was beyond tired of playing games and before TK could make a run Carlos wraps his fingers around TK’s arms. His grip firm enough to make TK pause, but not enough to hurt the other man or even trap him.

“What?” T.K’s snarls and Carlos is taken back by his tone, releasing his grip in shock. He has never seen or even heard TK sound like that and he is momentarily lost for words. He has seen TK after a fight and knows how the other man gets moody, but he can’t comprehend what motivated TK this time. He dreads even thinking TK might be relapsing.

“What do you mean with ‘ _what_ ’, TK?” His voice is tight and for the first time in his life, his patience with the other man is running thin. “You punched Michael completely unprovoked. What the hell was that?” His piercing glance was trained in TK, but only when the other man raises his hands to his hair he remembers the bruised knuckles. “And _you_ ,” He huffs, annoyed. “Didn’t even get your hands looked at. How do you think it’s going to be tomorrow when you have to work?” God he was really annoyed at how TK could be so reckless with his health.

“Why do you care?” TK starts, with thinly veiled sarcasm. TK’s green eyes meet Carlos brown eyes with renewed anger. “Shouldn’t you be with - what’s his name again?” TK snorts sarcastically and Carlos could see him pretending to think it over. “Whatever is his name. Your new _boytoy_. Why don’t you go back to him and leave me alone?” TK expression turned sour, voice laced with poison.

Carlos sure as hell never seen TK acting like this, but he is not going to back down now. He can’t allow TK to go on like this.

“TK — _fuck_ ,” His voice wavered. “You just can’t go around punching people, what’s gotten into you?” he jabs his finger into TK’s chest. “I just… I can’t…” He runs his fingers through his hair as frustration settles in. “You make no sense. I don’t understand you at all. You are acting like a jealous boyfriend or somethi-” and it hits him, like a wave during a storm, unexpectedly but with such turbulent force that Carlos almost loses his footing.

TK was _jealous_. TK was jealous of him and Michael at the bar. That is why he picked the fight. Why he punched Michael. And unquestionably the reason why he was acting like a petty child during this whole conversation. The realization is staggering and Carlos for a moment feels like everything around him is in slow motion and the sounds of passing by cars seems like miles away.

“Are you _jealous_?” Carlos asks dumbfounded, because he needs to hear it from TK’s lips to believe it, even if all the clues lead to only one possible answer. 

The guilty look on TK’s face and how his shoulders hunch tell Carlos that he is indeed right and Carlos hearts leaps with hope, set aflame by the possibility that TK might have feelings for him, like he always dreamed. 

“TK,” He calls, this time his voice is soft and cajoling. He gets closer to the other man, his fingers trailing down TK’s arm to intertwine their fingers.

“I’m not jealous,” TK’s answer with a whisper and Carlos has to bite back a smile.

“Oh, so you punched a civilian just because you felt like it?” He asked, amused. No one could blame Carlos for enjoying this situation, okay? “I’m waiting, TK.”

Carlos can see him chewing on his lip before sighing, staring at the ground as if he had been defeated. “Fine, I’m jealous, okay?” TK continues as though on a roll, chuckling bitterly. “And today was karma, wasn't it? I’m being punished for pushing away the best thing that ever happened to me because I'm a coward.” He swallows.

“TK—”

“I was blind-sided. When you broke up with me. I didn’t see it coming. I just… hated losing you. I thought that I couldn’t have any serious relationship after everything that happened back in NY, but that wasn’t true. Because there was you, Carlos. You just showed up right on day one, swept me off my feet and -” he says, swallowing a painful lump. “Was just perfect. Everything I ever wanted. And then I lost you. And I didn’t know how to get you back because you ended things and I thought… I thought you just didn’t want me anymore. I was hurt, because I love you so much it hurts, Carlos” TK licks his lips. “And today you were with him, moving on and I just couldn’t — I just saw how happy you two were and I just saw red. So yeah, I’m jealous. _Happy?_ Now go back inside to your date.” TK’s admits, looking a bit pained.

Carlos head is swimming with TK’s admission, so many feelings and so much information to process, everything is crowding together, screaming and jostling for attention that he feels once again in the night paralysed. But in the back of his brain he has the power to squeeze TK’s hand in reassurance and leans in so their foreheads are touching. He can feel TK’s labored breath on his cheeks.

He could scream with happiness because TK laid his heart bare and is in love with him.

“TK,” he starts, his voice surprisingly firm for how vulnerable he is feeling himself right now. He refuses to move from their position and can sense TK stiffen, nerving himself for a rejection. “You are such an idiot,” He starts and can feel TK pulling back, but he stands his ground. “How can you think I have been anything but crazy for you since the day we met?” He smiles against TK’s nose. “I have been in love with you for _months_. The only reason I ended things with you is because I couldn’t keep it casual anymore. I want you all to myself.” 

And then TK is all around him and his mouth is hot and surprisingly soft, dragging over Carlos’s lips again and again until Carlos can’t help but moan loudly, his mouth fall open for TK’s onslaught. He presses Carlos body forward against a nearby truck and TK’s fingers slide up Carlos back, touching him under his green henley.

“TK, I, _fuck_ ,” TK moans and the sound goes straight to Carlos dick, making his blood fizz wildly inside him. “Okay,” He pushes the other man. “We need to stop.” TK whines and Carlos chuckles.

“I know, _cariño_.” Carlos fingers touch the side of TK’s cheek. “But we need to get back inside, let Michelle take a look at your hand and then I am going to take you back to my place and have my dirty way with you.” He bites TK’s earlobe before pulling away, laughing at his expression.

“Must we?” TK asks, pouting his lips, hoping that would weaken Carlos resolve.

“Yes,” Carlos answers leaning in for a quick peck in the lips and pulls TK by the hand towards the bar entrance.

“Already boyfriending me, hun?” TK teases, eyes lit with joy.

“Oh, you haven't seen anything yet. I’m going to take care of you so hard, _cariño_.” A broad grin spread across Carlos' face, but his eyes soft.

TK smiles brightly. “Can’t wait.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed my first adventure on this fandom please leave a comment and some love! 
> 
> come join me on [tumblr](https://poeedamerons.tumblr.com/)


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